THE VIDEO THAT STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS

This story is shared with the full consent of the writer. It has only been edited to correct spelling and grammar and to remove any details that could identify the person involved. The story itself remains as close as possible to the writer’s original words and experience.

Around 15 years ago, I had an accident at home after slipping on ice. I badly hurt my neck and was in agony. I told myself I would wait until the pain got to 10 out of 10 before I went to see a doctor.

That happened fairly quickly.

A couple of nights later, at around 4am, I went to an out-of-hours doctor crying with pain. I was prescribed sleeping tablets, Valium, Nurofen Plus and Solpadeine.

I do not remember much of the two weeks after that accident because I was so heavily sedated.

When the medication ran out, I became severely depressed. I wanted to chase that euphoric feeling again but I did not know how.

Then I went into a chemist and explained about my accident. I was told about Nurofen Plus and how good they were.

I went home and took four. Nothing happened. No buzz.

So I thought maybe I needed to double it.

I took eight and felt a tiny bit of euphoria. I was delighted because I thought I had found that feeling again.

As the years went on, it spiralled completely out of control. I switched between different codeine products and started taking other painkillers too to make a cocktail.

From the outside, I had a normal life. I had a family and people around me who had no idea what was really going on. Inside, I was living through the hell of addiction on my own. I felt completely lonely and embarrassed.

At my worst, I even took strong pain medication that had belonged to a family member who had passed away. I had been caring for them at the end of their life and I still took the medication.

I felt absolutely ashamed.

But about five months ago, after taking a large amount of codeine, I came across one of Mark’s videos.

I normally never stop and listen to addiction stories. I scroll on. I pretend I am okay. Or maybe I just cannot face it.

But that video stopped me in my tracks.

I sat down, watched more videos and spent hours reading the comments.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was really hearing someone who understood.

Since that day, I have been five months clean.

I have never been as happy. I am finding myself again. I am active. I am funny again. But most importantly, I am living.

That is why these stories matter. Someone can come across the right words at the right time and it can stop them in their tracks.