Dihydrocodeine Addiction: From Pain Relief to Rock Bottom and Recovery

This story is shared with the full consent of the writer. It has only been edited to correct spelling and grammar and to remove any details that could identify the person involved. The story itself remains as close as possible to the writer’s original words and experience.

My problem started 12 years ago. I’ve always suffered from joint pain since I was a child, but nobody could ever give me a diagnosis. A close family member has arthritis and had been on prescription Dihydrocodeine (DHC) for years, but it upset their stomach, so they would collect the prescriptions but not take them.

One day I told them I was in a lot of pain and they gave me one of their DHC. Not only did it help with the pain, it made me feel good.

You’ll know what that feeling is like from taking codeine. DHC is three times stronger, so the hit was also a bit stronger. Because it worked, they gave me a large amount of DHC and I used it sensibly, only taking it on the days I needed it.

Once I ran out, maybe a year later, I went to my GP and explained that they worked and asked for some. They agreed and gave me a prescription for 30 tablets a month. Over a few years this increased to 100 a month.

As you’ll know with codeine, the more you take, the more you need. I was getting to the point where 100 tablets weren’t lasting a full month. Several years back, there were online pharmacies where you could buy 100 for £50, so I used to top my prescription up this way.

For eight years, I used DHC sensibly, but over the last four years I started having problems in my marriage and began abusing DHC, using it as a crutch to deal with emotional pain. I got to the point where I was taking 15 in one go first thing in the morning, then every few hours I’d swallow a few more to keep me topped up.

Four years ago I had a really good job. I’d spent years training in my career and had eventually been promoted into a senior role. I was well liked, had a great job that I was doing well in, had loads of friends and was earning good money.

But the problems in my relationship were eating away at me and I was taking so many tablets that it started to affect my work. I’d be rolling my eyes in meetings trying to stay awake. I’d miss deadlines and I dropped the ball. Because all of this happened over a short period of time, I’d never received any bad appraisals, but my manager was concerned about my ability to do the job.

It was a cut-throat world and they had no sympathy for the problems I was having. They made up a grievance about me that was untrue and offered me a package to leave my job. I had no choice. I tried to fight it, but they didn’t want me anymore.

This made my addiction 100 times worse. I was at home unemployed and every job I applied for in the local area, I was rejected. I know off the record they had spoken to my last employer, but I couldn’t prove it. I had trained for years in my career and I was really good at it, but this ended that career for me.

By this point my relationship with my husband was even worse. He was talking to women behind my back and I’d often find out.

This led to me scouring the internet to buy DHC illegally. I was paying £170 for 200 tablets. One time they ran out of DHC, so they sent me 30mg codeine. When they arrived they looked different, so being cautious I only took two to check them.

I’m so glad I did that, otherwise I’d be dead. It wasn’t codeine I’d taken. It was a drug called Xylazine, which is a horse tranquilliser and not for human consumption.

Even this didn’t stop me. My addiction was worse than ever. Last June I was taking 40 in one go. Then the worst happened. The person I was buying them from online disappeared and I ran out.

I’d suffered withdrawals before and they were nasty, but this was different. It was withdrawal times 1000. The restless legs, upset stomach, violently being sick, passing out, constant goosebumps and my brain felt like someone was in there torturing me.

I’d hit rock bottom and was financially suffering as I was now spending over £1,000 a month on DHC. I often ran out of money, so had to ask my husband for help.

I’d managed to find a good job. Not in my old career, but in a different sector and it paid well. But I was spending nearly a third of my wages on drugs.

The day the withdrawals were at their worst, I couldn’t go to work and my husband had no clue what was going on as I had hidden it from him.

That day I planned to take my own life as I couldn’t deal with it anymore. As I lay on the bathroom floor deciding how to do it, I realised this would stop if I asked for help.

So I did. I rang my GP, who didn’t help me, but referred me to a recovery service and two weeks later they put me on Espranor, which saved my life.

Nearly a year later and I’m reducing down. I’m much happier. I never think about taking codeine and I never will again. My relationship is back on track, I go to the gym six times a week, I started Mounjaro and lost five stone too.

So there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is help out there if people want it.